DON'T FEEL NO PAIN
I fiddled with the pen, and looked up. I usually did that when I was thinking of a new lyric. I had to come up with a new song soon. Just then, Hailie comes up to me, and holds up a chain of paper dolls.
“Dad, look what I just made,” she said, and unfolded it.
I gave her a quick smile, but I still had to finish my song. “It’s real nice, Hailie,” I told her. “But Dad’s gotta finish writing this song, okay?”
She looked at me with such disappointment. So I told her that I’ll push her on the swing after. But the disappointed look didn’t go away. It gave me an uneasy feeling, like something bad is going to happen. I still had that feeling when I layed down to take a quick nap. I set my alarm clock to ring in fifteen minutes. I closed my eyes, and slowly fell asleep.
I went outside to have some fresh air. I noticed Hailie swinging in the back yard, all by herself. I walked up to her, and started to push her, gently. We started talking about my music career, then she told me that she doesn’t want me to sing anymore. “You’re making Mommy cry,” she told me. I knew Kim wasn’t too happy about my lyrics.
I stopped pushing her, and told her, “I’m not going to leave anymore.”
“Daddy, you’re lying,” she sighed. “You always say that, you always say that this is the last time.”
Why won’t she believe me? I missed her so much, that I don’t want to leave again. I just want to stay home with her and my family. Why can’t she believe that? And besides, it’s not like I like being away from them for so long.
But a couple months later, I was forced to go on the Anger Management Tour again. I didn’t want to, but I had to. This was the only way – I think – that I could get money to pay for Hailie’s college. I had finished packing, but my plane didn’t leave for another few more hours. I heard some bustling in the front foyer, but I took no notice of it. Probably Hailie and Alaina playing again.
I glanced at the clock on the wall – time to leave. I grabbed my bags – went into the kitchen where Kim was, cooking and gave her a quick hug. Then I headed to the front door, and I stared in shock. There – in front of the door – was a gigantic pile of boxes in all sizes. In front of the boxes, was Hailie.
“Daddy, please don’t leave,” she begged. She grabbed around my middle in attempt to stop me, but I didn’t budge. I looked at her – there was tears in her eyes. She really, really didn’t want me to leave. I didn’t want to leave myself, but like I said – I needed the money.
“Baby, I’m only gonna be gone for a few months,” I told her gently, as I knelt down until I was eye-level with her. She knew that, but she still didn’t want me to go. I kept telling her it was only for awhile until she resigned.
I was about to stand up straight, when Hailie went to her pocket and pulled out a golden locket with a chain. She gave it to me, and said, “Take it with you, Dad. It’ll keep you safe.” I hugged her for a long time, then I left.
The concert was finally over, now I could go back stage to rest for a bit then head back home to my family. The audience was screaming so loud and jumping out of their seats, applausing. I took a couple of bows and thanked them for being there. Then I turned to head backstage. But the screaming crowd was getting me hyped up, so I took one last look at them. And in the corner of my eye was a little girl who looked very familiar, with blonde hair and baby blue eyes – it’s Hailie.
“Daddy, Mommy’s wrists are bleeding!” she cried out, tears in her eyes and she looked desperate.
What did she mean by that? I wondered. Why would Kim’s wrists be bleeding? She wasn’t accident-prone, and she didn’t seemed depressed to me. Then I thought of when I had just performed ‘Kim’, stabbing a blow-up doll, which was playing the part as Kim. Could Kim have been insulted so bad, she slit her wrist? And what’s Hailie doing here?
“But baby, we’re in Sweden,” I yelled out back to her. I had to yell because there was so much noise. “How did you get to Sweden?” I asked her.
“I followed you, Daddy,” she said. How the hell did she follow me all the way from America to Sweden? Before I could figure it out, she continued to yell at me. “You told me that you weren’t leaving!”
I did tell her that. I felt real guilty now, that I couldn’t talk or do anything except let Hailie continue yelling at me.
“You lied to me, Dad. And now you made Mommy said, and I bought you this coin,” – she held up a silver coin – “It says, ‘#1 Dad’. That’s all I wanted I just wanted to give you this coin.” She threw it onto the stage, in disgust.
I bent down to pick up the coin amongst the roses on the stage. “I get the point, Dad. Fine, me and Mommy are going!” Hailie shouted, and she looked like she meant it all.
After looking at the coin, and hearing Hailie saying that she and Kim are leaving me, I looked up and said, “But baby wait –“
She interrupted me, “It’s too late, Dad. You made your choice. Now go out there and show them that you love them more than us!” And with a glare, she turned around and left.
I stared shocked, as the curtains closed in front of me, blocking the view of the audience. Is that what will happen if I continue my music career? Will Kim and Hailie really leave me? I don’t want them to leave me. This wasn’t how things are suppose to be. I looked into a nearby mirror, and saw Kim and Hailie slowly vanishing away. ‘Don’t leave!’ I thought desperately. ‘This isn’t my fault! It’s Slim Shady’s fault!’
Then I realized that it was – in fact – Shady’s fault. I mean, yeah, I am Shady. But he’s my alter ego – the part that doesn’t give a fuck what you say about him. The guy who’s the insane crazy part of me, the angry, back-stabbing bastard. Right then and there, I didn’t want Slim Shady to be a part of me anymore.
Suddenly, my reflection turned into a guy who looked exactly like me. Same baby blue eyes, but he had dark brown hair. It was me – Marshall Mathers. I could see him, a cold look in his eyes. Slowly, I ended up on the other side, as Marshall. Slim Shady stared back at me, glaring. I glared back at him, and was angry. Why did I make up this alter ego? He didn’t do any good. And I could destroy him right now. I balled up my fist, and slammed it as hard as I could against the mirror. I shattered it into a million pieces, some of the glass shards covered with my blood.
Suddenly, I woke up alone. I groggily shut off my alarm clock, and looked outside my window. There was a few birds whistling in the nearby trees. Usually, I would get pissed off at them for being noisy and a nuisance. But today, I felt mellow and relaxed. It was also Spring out, and I glanced down into the backyard. There was Kim pushing Hailie and Whitney on the swings. I wanted to join them, so I ran downstairs, put my shoes on, and went outside.
The first thing I did was walked right up to Kim, and I kissed her softly. She returned my kiss, and at the corner of my eye, I saw Hailie smiling and winking at Whitney, who simply smiled back. Then Kim and I played with Hailie and Whitney for the rest of the day. I gave them both underdogs, while Kim pushed them higher and higher. We all laughed and joked around, enjoying each other’s company. We were the perfect family. But we’re weren’t one hundred percent perfect. And to me – this was Heaven.
Watcha think? Good? Bad? Okay? Write the damn "Outsiders" fic? Write another one soon? Don't write any more Eminem fics? Commenties? Don't ask too many questions?